Maniacal Machinations: Character Creation

I finally decided to title my Maniacal Machinations instead of just sticking dates on 'em. Yay progress!

Anyway, I was playing Mass Effect (which is why my posts are so infrequent this week) when I realized something: in-game character creation is a huge bitch!

This ain't the first time either. Anyone remember Oblivion?

For one, half of the options don't do jack and have no noticeable impact. On top of that, once I got my character to stop looking like they had a horrific accident and facial reconstruction didn't go so well, guess what? Once I started playing, I found out that it did, in fact, still look like someone who had their face slammed into the pavement and rubbed around. Turns out the character-creation perspective and in-game perspective don't quite match up.

Every time the game goes into a cutscene, I cringe . . .

LLL Christmas Special

Yeah, I should be happy about getting buttloads of presents, more than most. But my presents said, "Yes, we are aware of who you are. But only your father is going to encourage it, so here, have money towards a department store that has nothing but clothing items. We know you hate clothes shopping, but this is fine!"

I gave my parents a list with 50+ manga titles. I got one manga. Singular. That my mom has been buying for me since the first volume came out. OH WAIT! They tried. They got me Wild Adapter Vol. 2. Vol. 2 of the original soundtrack to the super lame gouge your eyes out Wild Adapter OVAs that should never have been made. EVER.

In short, this Christmas has been about my parents telling me to stop being such a lowlife nerd. Anyone else? Come on, I need to here stories more depressing than my own.

Consumer service: part deux

Nova again, been a while yes I know. my usual procrastination and laziness got in the way again.

So the high season if finally coming to a close for us people working in retail, just 2 more weeks of gradually declining client numbers and we can close the books.

Now you all might have heard of the general shortage of Wii's out there. yup, you people all know about it. yet it appears that our clientelle doesn't. so you go out of your way (ignoring to aid, or transfer like 50 clients) to explain the dumb fucktards what the deal is with this Wii.

Now, we're about 30 minutes in and the brainiac decides to mention that our chain might have other Wii's in stock. alright fair enough I start calling... results: none in stock... ANYWHERE. so you again apoligize to the client and regret the fact that you can't supply him/her with a brand new Wii.

pretty angry and demotivated by that the client leaves (although his kids were happy since we're giving away candy during the high season).

NEXT
another client approaches, one you've spotted earlier as he/she was paying attention to what you just said to the former client. and then in the 5 seconds between the other guy leaving and the new guy approaching, they totally forget and ask me through the usual steps again....

this is one of those parts of the job that I hate, you have to smile, nod and do as the client says (according to corp policy at least). thank god I can scoop him/her off to a co-worker and focus on people who actually bother to keep up with the times.

so here is a hint for all you shoppers out there

STOP BOTHERING US WITH ASKING THE SAME SHIT THE PREVIOUS GUY ASKED.... PAY SOME FUCKING ATTENTION.

god, and people say I have a short term memory....

Maniacal Machinations 12/22/07

While some people like to euthanize their gingerbread men quickly, I prefer more . . . "creative" means.

The first of these methods is to snap that sucker in half and devour 'im piece by piece. This loses its fun kinda quickly.

My favorite way is to devour it limb by limb, starting with the legs, then the arms, and after admiring my work for a minute, make my way up the body and finish with the head. Ah, good times.

Maniacal Machinations 12/16/07

So my brother was telling be about his friend's silenced speargun . . .

Yes, a silenced speargun. Now, it's one thing to silence a pistol, but a speargun?

WHY?!

I don't know about you, but when I want to kill someone discreetly (not that i'd want to <_< ), "speargun" isn't the first word that comes to mind. I mean, you'd have to be like five feet away from someone to kill them with that! And even if you kill them, what are you gonna do next, hide the gun in your coat? If you have a coat big enough to hide a speargun, ya might as well just bring a sniper rifle.

Even if ya limit its use to fishing, I don't think the sound of something discharging is gonna scare the fish as much as A FUCKING SPEAR ENTERING THE WATER!

Let's Loathe v. 4.5

"Are you whining again? Jeez, it's just a Guitar Hero-based fundraiser."

"But the reward for winning a VIDEO GAME is the opportunity to choose your schedule next semester?! That's such bull!"

"Look, do you get off on bitching about stuff?"



Huh. Wow. I'd never thought of myself that way before. I always thought that I whined because I never got my way, and whining was better than getting violent. I whine about things I get angry about, but... does expressing my rage in finding errors in the subject of said rage give me some sort of high? I'd never noticed before. And I know that my friends listen to me bitch all the time, and just nod and agree. The problem I have is that when anyone bitches back, I know that I'm of a superior mindset , they're idiots, and suddenly, it doesn't feel like it's worth arguing with a complete loser.



Take for example yesterday's Biology class. We watched a biographical movie about Charles Darwin, a man I consider to be the single greatest mind of modern history. Screw Einstein. Einstein wasn't going to get his ass kicked by the Church of his home country, he certainly didn't think up anything someone was just too scared to say, and he didn't risk losing the love of his life over his passions (Hell, he was gay if I remember correctly). So then the biography goes on to touch on Darwin's love for his cousin, Emma. Of course, the guy behind me, who I already know is a total douche, goes, "This guy WAS cracked all over."No, no he wasn't. Greatest mind of modern history, and if you lived in that time period, you'd probably have already done all your cousins, second cousins, and moved on to your sisters, you damn hick.



NEWSFLASH: EVOLUTION IS A PROVEN FACT.



Besides, who says God didn't make it so that it worked that way? But I didn't feel like bringing up this point. Instead, I turn to my bio professer (brilliant woman, by the way) after class and tell her what I heard. She lol'd, and said the same thing I did. "Greatest mind of modern history, and if you lived in that time period, you'd probably have already done all your cousins, second cousins, and moved on to your sisters" etc. Only without the whole "doing" thing. Knowing that my professor, someone I respect, and who, incidentally is nominated for TIME person of the year for teaching Evolution, saw eye-to-eye with me on this issue and was able to laugh with me about this idiot meant so much more to me than showing that loser that everything he believed in was a lie imposed on him by "THA MAN." Tha Man can have all the little cronies he wants. We free-thinkers may not take over the world, but under the tyrannical rule of Tha Man, we'll feel ultimately superior, and laughat his expense. I know you can all relate with this "idiot" deal.

Huh... I went way off topic.Well, till I get a proper, organized "Loathe" up, enjoy the extreme fucked up weather wherever you are! YAY GLOBAL WARMING!

Maniacal Machinations 12/11/07

Even Anonymous has some pride.

Let's Loathe w/ LEVIATHAN v.4.0

I have a 10-year-old sister. She is a cheerleader. She's blonde. If I hadn't seen her in the hospital myself, I'd say she was adopted (My mother had this thing where she wouldn't let her children stay in the nursery ever, so that's ruled out) because of her blonde hair and green eyes. She's annoying as FUCK. *cough.* Anyway, today's topic is:

Children's Television Shows.

So I'm sitting there studying or reading or whatever, and the next thing I know, dearest little sister comes home, and clicks on Disney Channel. Normally, I can just tune it out.

But something about this particular episode of Hannah Montana seems unusually stupid. I tell my sister to turn it off.
"No! I love this one!"
Then I realize what's so fucked up. SHE'S SEEN THAT SAME BAD EPISODE 50,000 TIMES ALREADY.

How does that work? It's not the first time it's happened, either. Other shows rerun the SAME EXACT EPISODE IN THE SAME TIMESLOT all the time.
All right, cool, it's a mindfuck. That's all. But my little sister is ENJOYING IT.

Conclusion:
Children's network stations like PBS (gag, who the hell killed Big Bird?) and Disney Channel (I remember when there was a full documentary series called Amazing Animals that I loved more that my mother. Who killed that?) will purposely rerun episodes of their series OVER AND OVER AT THE SAME TIME for two reasons: 1. Kids will whine to mommy and daddy to watch at different times. 2. The stations don't have to write nearly as much content.

Which brings me to my final point: American Children need Shin-Chan. New episodes next week. Rock on crayon monkey boy. Get your honor, honor and a peeeenis. Rock on.

Maniacal Machinations 12/10/07

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Have you ever noticed that none of the America's Funniest Home Videos hosts are actually funny?

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Maniacal Machinations 12/9/07

There comes a time in every person's life when they must decide which is more important: Pie or Cake.

I chose pie because the cake is a lie.

Maniacal Machinations 12/7/07

Kinda mesmerizing, isn't it?

Random Rant

Fucking abbreviations and shit now a days. I agreed totally when Maddox ranted about peoples opinion and shit. He covered many points, but I'll expand on it.

IMHO

I'm Massively HomO. That's must be what it fucking means. Why the H? WHY the fucking honest? First off, IMO wasn't... really needed in the first place. Whenever you say something is better, or your favorite, and provide no real explanation or reasoning why, then of course it's your damn opinion. We can leave it at that. Sometimes opinions are good, other times bad, but it is what it is.

'Honest opinion'? Is there a need to tell them that your being honest now? Were some people giving opinions that were dishonest? Do we need some disclaimer now so people don't think your lying? I can see it now:

"Oh, man, this guy has some crazy ideas, that could never happen, must be a liar. OH SNAP! That's his HONEST opinion? Maybe I should check it out to be on the safe side...."

Fuck you. That's right, fuck you guys. If they lied before, why can't they just add the h and lie again? Fucking faggots.

Now for some lunch

Maniacal Machinations 12/4/07

There are times when I wake up in the morning after a tranquil, dreamless slumber. I blink once or twice, snug in an impregnable fortress of sheets. Faint light filters through the curtains, spreading across the floor and reaching the foot of my bed. With a yawn, I roll to the side, my toes groping to find a certain pair of fuzzy slippers. I stand, closing my eyes and taking a moment to take in the sounds. I hear among the distant droning of cars a cat's purr. For a moment, all is right with the world. Then . . .

"Oh shit, I'm late for work!"

Maniacal Machinations 12/3/07

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I bring upon you a terror like none you've seen before!