Let's Loathe with LEVIATHAN: Takin' off the Rose-Colored Glasses

Yeah, I've been seeing life as joyous and happy lately. Then One_sin came and took off those epic John Lennon glasses I was wearing everywhere.

So I'm going to the beach tomorrow with one of my closest friends. It's my first time going on a vacation without my parents. It'll be the longest I've been away from any of my family. ... The last time I took a vacation from all 5 of my family members, I went on a school field trip in fifth grade and cried like a little girl cuz I had no friends. Last time I took a vacation from my mother, my little sister cried like a little girl cuz she couldn't handle sleep-away camp.

Anyway, after losing a big argument about how a $10 XL t-shirt will do the same thing as a $30+ dollar cover up that I'll never wear again, my mom went to target today. She came into my room, and I was in the middle of sculpting a clam (that I'm now in the process of painting; I'm really into clay modeling right now...), and she told me that what she bought for me is down stairs on the kitchen counter.

Well there were three bags. I'm like, "Oh shit..." because whenever my mom goes shopping, she buys too much. So I haul the bags upstairs, glad she at least went to Target since their bags can be ironed and used for all sorts of crap (use a face mask, though), and I dump it all out on my bed. Recall that she went for one cover up. What I found was
-A spanking new purse/beach bag. I carry a "purse" when I don't have pockets, but mine looks more like a black gym bag, not something that the prom queen would carry.
-TWO absolutely hideous cover ups. One is solid light grey, and buttons all the way up. The other doesn't button but has a scrunching tie around the middle, and has light grey and dark grey horizontal stripes.
-YET ANOTHER pair of flip flops. I alternate between two pairs usually, but I will admit, for white and baby blue Croc imitation flip flops, they're REALLY comfy...
-Six pairs of rainbow underwear. Yeah. Some were stripped, others literally had patterns of the little arcs all over them. One even had a smiling, ironed on cloud. Like a lakitu cloud with drag makeup. I WEAR BOXERS, MOM.
-A simple pair of polarized sunglasses. I'm cool with these.
-A VISOR. Which is great if you're in the process of or on your way to/from playing tennis, or if you're in your fifties and up, or if you're Hispanic and wear it sideways and upside down. I fit none of these.

So now my mom's going to throw a fit telling me I don't respect her enough and that I can't dress myself and I should be wearing this girly crap that shows off my fat, rides up my arm pits and makes sweat marks, or shows off my fat, sagging ass.
Which means I will have to waste all that room in my very limited bag.

THANKS MOM, SEE IF I EVER GET YOU IMPORTED FLOWERS FROM BRAZIL AGAIN. YOU LOVE THEM MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME!!

Youtube and I: Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC

Maniacal Machinations: Stop Quoting Portal!

I'd have thought this goes without saying, but people really need to stop saying, "The Cake is a Lie!" No, seriously. Once in a blue moon, something awesome like Portal comes along and what do people do? They quote it to death. STOP IT!

Quote-spamming something hyperpopular like Portal is good for a month tops. However, most people can't seem to get that through their heads. It stops being funny. Yes, I know the cake is a fucking lie, I know about the fucking Cube, and I know that you're still alive . . . still alive . . .still alive. Hell, stuff like this isn't even quoted with any cleverness half of the time. For example:

"Hey, guys, I went to that Chinese restaurant that just opened across the street."
"How was it?"
"I was alright, but there's one problem."
"What's that?"
"The cake is a lie!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, right?

Right?

No. Damn you and your non-sequiturs to hell. It's not just Portal either. Is it too much to ask for a day where I don't have to hear, "If any of you are aliens, time-travelers, or espers, please come see me. That is all!"?

Honestly, spewing out Portal quotes with no context whatsoever is like digging up the corpse of your best friend's grandmother, repeatedly having your way with it, throwing it in a wood chipper, and then writing about it on your blog. Thank you, Internet, you killed Portal. This is why we can't have nice things.

Infernal Images: Don't Do Drugs

Damn it. Another cop-out. I promise I'll have something better tomorrow.

Youtube and I: Self-Defense

Starting off yet another series of posts, I'll be posting videos I encounter every now and then. Enjoy!

Infernal Images: Azumangellion

The Azumanga crossover horror continues.

Maniacal Machinations: Famous Last Words

"Wait a minute . . ." - Pope Alexander VI

"Am I dying, or is this my birthday?" - Lady Nancy Astor (seeing her family at her bedside)

"Maybe they only had one rocket" - A soldier in WW2 just after his bunker was hit by a rocket. A second volley came soon enough.

"Who is it? Who is it?" - Billy the Kid

"I live!" - Caligula

"I'm bored with it all." - Winston Churchill

"But how the devil do you think this could harm me?." - Denis Diderot

"Dammit…Don't you dare ask God to help me." - Joan Crawford

"Now why did I do that?" - General William Erskine after jumping out of a window

"I'd hate to die twice. It's so boring." - Richard Feynman

"No! I didn't come here to make a speech. I came here to die." - Crawford Goldsby after being asked if he had anything to say before being hanged

"Don't worry…it's not loaded…" - Terry Kath

"Go on, get out! Last words are for fools who haven't said enough!" - Karl Marx after being asked what his last words were

"Don't make a mess of it - shoot straight, you bastards." - Harry Morant

"This isn't Hamlet, you know. It's not meant to go into the bloody ear." - Laurence Oliver (his nurse was trying to moisten his lips but missed)

"Hurry up, you Hoosier bastard, I could kill ten men while you're fooling around!" - Carl Panzram

"I can't believe, after all this time, it was a bloody banana that killed me." - Ivanka Perko

"I'd like to be in hell in time for dinner." - Edward H. Ruloff

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist…" - General John Sedgwick

"Why, yes, a bulletproof vest." - Domonic Willard (just before his execution by firing squad when he was asked if he had any last requests)

"Oh, what's the bloody point?" - Kenneth Williams (final journal entry)



On a different note, to quote Paltir, "What're the last words you'll hear from a redneck? 'Watch this.'"

Infernal Images: African Slaves

Maniacal Machinations: Quotes on England

I was reading the Wikipedia article on England when I came across the Wikiquote link. What I found was more than just a bit amusing:

"England... is a nation of shopkeepers" - Napoleon

"Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot water bottles" - George Mikes
"On the Continent, people have good food; in England, people have good table manners." - George Mikes
"An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one." - George Mikes

"England is the only country in the world where the food is more dangerous than sex." - Jackie Mason

"We do not regard Englishmen as foreigners. We look on them only as rather mad Norwegians." - Halvard Lange

"Not to be English was for my family so terrible a handicap as almost to place the sufferer in the permanent invalid class." - Osbert Lancaster

"In England there are sixty different religions and only one sauce." - Francesco Caracciolo

"I like the English. They have the most rigid code of immorality in the world." - Malcolm Bradbury

"The English instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it." - James Agate

Maniacal Machinations: Words of Wisdom

Abraham Lincoln once described one of his generals as being able to "snatch defeat from the jaws of victory".

Maniacal Machinations: Masterpiece Theater

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.

Jill pulled out a big black dildo and gave ol' Jack some lovin'.

Infernal Images: I Came Desu!

Infernal Images: You're Doing It Wrong

It's my birthday today, so I think ima celebrate with some more bizarre pics.

Infernal Images: Final Azumanga VII

Wow. It's been ages since my last post, eh? Sorry 'bout that, guys. I kept forgetting to maintain the blog. Anyways, until I get back into the swing of things, I'll be putting up bizarre images to keep you occupied. Enjoy!

PS: This means that image posts will no longer be classified under "Maniacal Machinations".


I've seen a lot of crossover pics, but this is the first (and hopefully last) FFVII-Azumanga Daioh I've ever found.