Maniacal Machinations: Hard and Fruity

I got some candy today. It was called "Now and Later" and it had an interesting slogan: "Hard 'n Fruity Now, Soft 'n Chewy later".

I'll leave the rest to your imagination. ~_^

Maniacal Machinations: Applause, Compliments, and Tips

I was at Coldstone today to grab some Lemon sorbet ice cream when I looked at the tip jar (which is a really weird thing to do since, being the asshole I am, I don't tip outside of restaurants) and saw this: "Applause, Compliments, and Tips appreciated."

What the fuck? Is this some sick joke on the employees?

If I worked at Coldstone, i'd want that jar to say "Tips, tips, and more tips appreciated". Applause is nice, but I think that extra buck would be nicer if I was making minimal wage.

It's fucking snowing AGAIN.

Dear Georgia:

SUN BELT

-Leviathan

WTF man? It's snowing again? Not that I'm complaining... Anyway, here's a look at the other night's snow. SO! Way to forget, Georgia! You couldn't pull this off with rain? DROUGHT! LEVEL FOUR DROUGHT!

Jesus Christ. Ol' Hernando up there melted the day before it started snowing again.

And you know what else?

WE FOUND FUCKING MANGOES.

"What the fuck is this idiot talking about? mangoes? Not only do they not grow in Georgia, but they also don't grow in the snow!"
That's what I said. We found four mangoes on the ground. We threw one into a neighbor's yard to creep them the fuck out, and brought the other three in the house, two of which had brown splotches. BUT MANGOES!

Okay, I gotta go outside. My hoodie just came out of the dryer. I gotta burn some calories.

EDIT: When we found the mangoes, we looked straight up. No mango tree. Well, they were at the bottom of a slope, so we looked past the slope. Still no mango tree.

ATTENTION RESIDENTS OF ATLANTA: IF YOU HAVE LOST FOUR MANGOES, WE HAVE THREE OF THEM. THE OTHER ONE IS AT OUR EVIL NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE.

BREAK'S OVER!

Well, the holidays are over, and it just got harder for me to do blog posts. Not because the block on Blogger has been lifted. Not because I don't have programming anymore. It's because my ass of a teacher put me at a different computer AWAY from everyone worth talking to, next to a SpEd kid, and with the screen almost directly facing him from anywhere in the room. Also, the sped kid is like... blind or needs new glasses cuz he can't see a damn thing on the board, and keeps looking at my screen. OH GOD HE'S PICKING HIS NOSE.

...

Moving right along.

I get home last night, i've been doing my homework for fifteen minutes, and suddenly, "IT'S SNOWING!" Snow? In MY deep south?
So I stood outside and caught snowflakes (probably acidic), then continued studying. From inside the house, I hear various parts of the neighborhood noticing the snow. Ah, so nice. Of course, it's not sticking. At first. About an inch of snow was on the ground by the time I finished--STOP GETTING IN MY PERSONAL SPACE, SPED!-- and I put on my mother's NorthFace over my hoodie, and a pair of old jeans that don't really fit over my sweatpants. And a pair of crocs, the kind with no holes. Clogs, essentially.
My little brother starts rolling a ball of snow around. I glance at it, it's the size of a soccer ball, and claims it began as a golf ball. Well. The next time I look at it (I'm busy in the woodsy area behind the house shaking snow off of trees), it's got the diameter of a hula hoop. He calls for my help to push it. The thing has to be at least 100 pounds. Then my little sister gets her own ball rolling, and tells me to roll a head. Oh yes. Snow man time.

So it gets really dark, we take a quick chicken dumpling soup break. We go back out and roll the three balls together (Head, Gutter, Sploosh, etc.). And we can't lift the middle section. At all. Me, little brother, little sister, mother, little sister's friend. All five of us, and we can't lift it. Well crap. Brother, sister, sister's friend, and mom go in to take sister's friend home.

I stay outside and give the snowman a face using Magnolia leaves, and shove sticks in. Boom, dead snowman. I win.

The base of the snowman came up to my waste, and I could get up and stand on it. I didn't even try the head and body.

Next time: How we got the middle and head onto the base. Also, pics. Stay tuned.

dawnofsin.deviantart.com --> greatest fractal art you'll ever damn see, bitch! Now that the account belongs to Leviathan, epicness shall FLOW!

Maniacal Machinations: Inanimate Objects

Am I a terrible person for finding this funny? Maybe, but I laughed anyway. ~_^

Maniacal Machinations: First Thing That Comes To Mind

The one thing you should never ask me isn't my age or the intricacies of my yaoi collection. It's those "What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear _____?" questions.

Da problem isn't with da questions . . . it's with me.

For some reason, whenever I'm asked this type of question, the first thing is always Led Zeppelin. I have no idea why. Hell, I don't even listen to Led Zeppelin. I always have to say the second thing that comes to my head instead of the first thing. Otherwise, people look at me like i'm insane (well, any more than I already am ~_^).

Infernal Images: Mixed Messages

Shit, two image posts in a row. I need to find something to talk about. >_<

Infernal Images: What Now?

What do you do now?

Maniacal Machinations: Useless Stuff In Guidebooks

Being the lazy perfectionist (weird combo, eh?) that I am, I bought a guidebook to Mass Effect so I wouldn't have to play it twenty times to get everything . . . Anyways, while I was flipping through, I noticed something: there's a lot of useless shit taking up space! This ain't the first time either. This seems to be a trend in guide books.

First comes the bestiary. It'd be one thing if it told me HOW to kill the damn monsters, but no. Instead, I get to see the fifty variations of the original five fucking monsters that the creators just recolored to make the other five billion. To top it off, I get to read all the painfully bad names they had to BS for the variants too. This ain't Pokemon, folks. I couldn't care less if Geth Troopers evolved into Metal King Slimes if all I have to do is kill them.

Next come item lists. I dunno about you, but seeing all the game's weapons lined up in neat columns with their stats next to them BORES THE SHIT OUT OF ME. Weapon comparisons would be nice to have during the actual walkthrough, but sticking all of them alphabetically in some index does NOT help me at all!

Also, I can't help but wonder why guides stick the game controls in the front. I mean, if someone needs the guide to tell them how the controls work, they were obviously too lazy to read the damn manual. Is it too much to expect people to know that pressing up on the controller makes you move forward? Are my standards too rigorous for the common man? Is it too much to ask for people to know that "a" means yes and "b" means no? If not, then why the hell do we have this crap in guide books?!

After that comes the introduction. Why is it necessary to tell me something that I find out in the first ten minutes of the game? While i'm on the subject of plot summaries, guidebooks also tend to throw in all sorts of plot details and spell out every fucking thing that happens. Assuming that i'm only glancing to get through the harder parts of the game, all this fluff gets in my way! Are steps too much to ask for? Does everything need to be in a novel-ish format? I don't read games, damn it! I play them!

Character Profiles: Oh yes, I REALLY need to know how tall my characters are, their hobbies, and their genealogy. I REALLY give a flying fuck that what's his face likes a hot steaming bowl of shit for breakfast. Thanks for this oh so relevant info.

Useless menu descriptions: I think I know what "attack" means, thank you very much. No need for a paragraph defining it . . .

In short, just give what's necessary, god damn it!